The terrace at the Café Twit.
The terrace at the Café Twit.

A Family Meal at the Roald Dahl Museum & Story Centre, Buckinghamshire

Yuck – it’s so yummy. There’s nothing quite so tasty as disgusting food. Try to get my kids to eat meatballs and passata, and they’ll turn up their little noses. Tell them the same dish is eyeballs oozing blood, and they’ll scoff them down.

I get most of my revolting recipes not from a master chef, but from storybooks. And the master of all these culinary taletellers is Roald Dahl. So while other families have celebratory meals for Easter or Thanksgiving, we have one for Roald Dahl Day on September 13th. The menu may consist of Fresh Mudburgers, Snozzcumbers and Squiggly Spaghetti, all borrowed from Dahl books. But I also do my own really good Severed Toe Toast (jammy bread fingers) and a mean Blood Patty (pizza). It’s not what food tastes or even looks like that warms my kids’ tummies. It’s the story attached.

So our search for the world’s best disgusting food has taken us to the Roald Dahl Museum in annoyingly twee Great Missenden, Buckinghamshire. It’s the sort of English countryside that usually turns my stomach. High streets lined with tearooms where waitresses dressed as extras from some bad BBC Victorian drama serve you rock-hard scones and UHT cream, calling it an English tradition.

But between all this food fakery, there’s a place with genuine taste. Café Twit at the Roald Dahl Museum serves scrumptious homemade food the author himself would be proud of. Bogtrotter Chocolate Cake is my kids’ favourite, though thankfully not devoured in such large quantities as Bruce Bogtrotter himself does in Matilda. The café's chef also runs some of the museum's regular workshops, including chocolate decorating.

The moral of this particular tale is that, for my kids at least, the story surrounding the dish in front of them is as important as the taste. Meals are all the more delicious when washed down with a stomping good yarn.

Read more about family days out in South East England, as well as recommendations for family-friendly places to stay.

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